Treize Horror Picture Show
by Emi-chan
Summary: oh oh... I've crossed GW and Rocky Horror Picture Show together.
1. who's who?

I promissed this to Hyuy a long time ago, and just started on it.   
Here's the roles and who's doing what (nevermind duo, he does anything and everything)  
  
Warnings: bad words and references to yaoi.  
  
I'm psycho and I love it. I didn't make you read this so It's not my fault if you think you've read crap.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Dr. Duo == Duo Maxwell (a scientist)  
Wu: yeah right  
Hiro: More like a reasearcher..  
Q: of human's sexual nature  
T: *nodds in agreement*  
Wufei Wuss == Wufei Chang (a heroine)  
Wu: ONNA!!! INJUSTICE!!!   
D: *snicker* serves ya right.  
Q: hey it's heroine! Shoot up!  
T: //_-;;  
Heero Major == Heero Yuy (a hero)  
D: Look Heero's a hero!!  
Q: *cough*Heero major asshole*cough*  
H: *glares*  
Zechs Millardo == Zechs Merchise/ Millardo Peacecraft (a handyman)  
Wu: Isn't that rather redundant?  
T: *shrug*  
Relena == Relena Peacecraft (a domestic)  
D: What the fuck is that, and why is she in this fic?  
H: The author said she wouldn't get too annoying.  
Quatre == Quatre Winner (a groupie)  
D: a groupie?? Does that mean I get a turn with you too?  
Q: D..dd.duo!!  
Dr. G == Dr. G (a rival Scientist)  
D: He's almost as big of a pervert as J.  
H: J's worse much worse...  
Trieze == Trieze Kushrenada (a creation)  
Wu: Na.na...naani!!!   
D: Good job Wu-man. You get laid by not only me, but Trieze too!  
Trowa == Trowa Barton/Trinton Bloom (ex-delivery boy)  
Wu: I don't even want to know what your supposed to deliver.  
Q: *snicker*  
Narrator == Dr. J (an expert)  
Q: an expert?? of what?  
H: you don't want to know.  
D: J HAS NO FUCKING DICK!!!!  
T: //_-;;  
Sankianiens:  
Lots of Random ppl  
Sally Po  
Merian Chang  
Noin  
Lady Anne  
Hilde  
Cathrine  
and anyone else you want to imagine in there.  
  
D: Is there some reason only boys have major roles and girls have the small roles??  
T: .......  
D: I already knew THAT!  
Q: Everyone should know that the author of this is a pervert. It's common Knowledge. 


	2. Now everybody sing!!

No I'm not on crack.  
It's only the opening song.  
Warnings are only for bad bad bad words.  
  
Enjoy or instead just wonder what the hell I am on if it's not crack.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Picture comes in on Duo and Zechs fighting over a tube of red lipstick.   
  
Duo: Fuckin' bitch!! Gimme that lipstick!!!  
Zechs: No way in HELL freak!! You'll fuck up the begining song!  
Duo: No I won't... just gimme that shit.  
Zechs: I ...think.... not...   
  
Zechs punches Duo and he goes down.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
A lil later, a pair of big bright red lips are seen in the middle of a black screen.  
Zechs' lips: So just sing what's on the script?  
Emi's voice: Yeah, it should be the same thing that is on the original Rocky Horror Picture Show.  
Zechs' lips: Okay  
  
  
Michael Rennie was ill  
The Day the Earth Stood Still  
But he told us where we stand.  
Duo stands up.  
Duo: ON OUR FEET!!!  
And Flash Gordon was there  
In crotchless  
Zechs raised an eyebrow.  
underwear,   
Claude Rains was the Invisible Man.  
Duo: I fucked him!!  
Heero glared at Duo.  
Then something went wrong  
For Fay Wray fucked  
King Kong;  
They got caught in a sexual  
jam.   
Then at a deadly pace  
I came on  
Janet's face  
Zechs: There is something definately wrong here.  
And this is how the message ran:  
  
The lips tilt to the side and frezzes.  
  
Science fiction, double feature  
  
Doctor X will build a creature.  
Duo: DR. J!!!  
Heero: *snickers*  
Dr. J: I HEARD THAT!!!  
See androids fucking  
and sucking on  
Heero and Wufei  
Lady Anne stars in Deep Throat and  
Forbidden Planet  
Lady Une/Anne: Someone's gonna DIE!!!  
Wufei's a ho-o-o-o  
Wu: INJUSTICE!!!   
Wufei chases after the closes person with his sword.  
At the late night,   
Fuck your teacher  
  
  
Duo: Do you know any child molesters?  
  
The lips unfrezze.   
I knew Dekiem Barton   
Duo: Close enough  
Was fucking a sparrow  
When Tarantula took to LSD  
Duo: Lick it Bitch!!  
And I really got hot  
When I saw Wufei's twat  
Wu: ONNA!!!!!!! What the FUCK did you write on that thing!!!  
Emi's voice: I swear I didn't do it!!  
Fight a penis that spits semen and kills  
Treize: .... *his mouth is just hanging open*  
Dorthy said Prunes   
Gave him the runes the shits  
And passing them used lots of Ex-Lax pills  
But When Worlds Collide,   
Said Rashid to Quatre's bride,  
Quatre: Who in the world said I'm getting married??  
"I'm gonna give you some birth control pills  
Like a...  
  
The chorus repeats and we all say goodbye to Zechs' lips.  
  
Wu: WHO wrote that!!  
Duo: *tries to look innocent*  
Tro: ..... looks like Duo's handwriting.  
Wu/Lady Une and lots of others chase after Duo to maim him. 


	3. Wu-wu, Heero, and.... the SOCK!!!

No. I'm not on Crack. No I'm not giving away imaginary Gundam's. This has yaoi and totally freaky Rocky Horror stuff. I warned thee..  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The scene is the end of a Wedding, Heero is standing there basically staring off in space while the rest of the group is trying to get a photo. Unfortunately a pantsless Priest runs through the middle of it.  
  
Emi's Voice: DUO! Get OFF the set!  
Heero: hn.  
  
Some guy (the groom) attempts to talk to Heero. After failing miserably, he gets into a car with "the virgin's finally gonna get laid" on the side and "by the slut" on the back. Heero stands there for awhile.  
  
Emi's Voice: Where is he? WUFEI!! Get your ASS on stage!!!!!  
  
A lil grumbling and a Wufei in drag is pushed onto the stage. Wufei stands there and pouts, neither saying anything.  
  
Emi's voice: Ahem!  
  
Wu: *in a monotone* Ooh Heero, wasn't it wonderful.  
Heero: Ahh..   
The two just stand there for a lil more time.  
  
Emi's voice: Just SING the DAMNED song!  
  
Music starts up and heero just stands there for a moment.  
  
Heero: I really love...  
Duo: TO FUCK ME!!!!  
A now totally nude Duo runs across stage followed by a short brown haired girl (emi)  
Emi: YOU F'IN IDGIT!!!  
Wu: Heero....  
Heero: Can the friggin song.  
Wu: Thank Nataku.  
They all leave the screen and Zechs voice can be heard.  
Zechs: I thought you promised me TWO parts.  
Emi: It's not my fault! Those two were the ones who fucked over the scene!!!  
  
The view goes to Dr. J setting behind a desk. The managus are sitting in the audience ready to boo him.  
  
Guy1: I bet you'd like something, wouldn't you? You beady eyed butt-fucker!  
Guy2: How can he be beady eyed? He has no eyes.  
Guy3: Wait I think he has one...  
Dr. J: I would like.  
Guy5: You would, would you?  
Dr. J: ahh... If I may.  
All of them: YOU MAY NOT!!!!  
They throw random things at the Dr.  
Dr. J: Fuck this.   
He flips through to the important stuff.  
Dr. J: Their in a car, on a stormy night. Happy? Now go AWAY!!!  
The audience cheers madly.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Heero is driving along, Wufei in the passanger seat. The radio is on.  
  
Interviewer: So you say that gundams don't exist?  
Expert: No dey are unly de figment of de imagination.  
Interviewer: So If I said there was one right outside. You wouldn't believe me?  
Expert: Nut at ull. Yu'd be de crezy person.  
Interviewer: Um... ppl RUN!!  
Expert: Whut?  
Static.....  
  
Duo appears on stage clothed in a sock (not telling where) a glove and a headband.   
Duo: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!! This is the part of the program where we imitate the windshield wipers! ARMS UP!!!  
Amazingly, the 40 audience members arms go up.  
Duo: Left Right Left Right.  
Some of them follow along.  
Duo: For those of you on speed. leftrightleftrightleftrightleftright  
A few follow this.  
Duo: For those of you on cocaine... Fuckin' left, fuckin' right...  
A good portion follow this.  
Duo: For those of you on acid... Red orange yellow green blue.  
None follow this (hey would someone be able to if they were high on acid?)  
Duo: For those of you on Crack..  
He claps his hands and gets an applause in return  
Duo: For those of you who are dislexic... *he cross' his arms* left, right, left, right  
Many try just for the hell of it.  
Duo: And for those of you already horny... *he thrusts his hips out in time* In, out, in, out.  
To this he gets whistled at and a few cat calls.  
Duo: Thank you ^_^   
He leaves the stage.  
  
  



	4. A dinky car and some MS'.

Wufei turns off the radio and looks out at the passing MS.  
Wu: That's the fith Mobile Suit I've seen on this road... and we're driving down it in a crummy old CAR??  
Heero: Script.  
Wu: *growls* Now what?  
Heero: We took a wrong turn.  
Wu: You have got to be kidding me...  
Heero: You were the one giving directions.  
Wu: Duo was the one who gave me the directions.  
The magunacs echo "an erection" over Wu's "the directions"  
Wu: *glares at the audience*   
There is a large bang and Heero whips out his gun and shoots through the windshield at the direction of the sound. A scream can be heard.  
Wu: What in the HELL was that?  
The two get out of the car to find the cameraman dead on the ground.  
Heero: Ooops.  
Wu: Oops is right asshole. Did ya notice that the tire is flat also?  
Heero: Yes.  
Wu: *the vein on his forehead threatening to pop* THEN FIX IT!  
Heero: Can't.  
Wu: *shaking from anger* A.N.D W.H.Y N.O.T???  
Heero: Script.  
Wu facefaults. Did I mention we did NOT give poor Wu-Wu a script??  
Wu: Don't call me that.  
Emi's voice: Wu-Wu.. Wu-Wu...  
And Wu-wu gets dragged off by Heero as the script requires them to leave and walk down the road.  
Audience: WHERE TO!!  
To Duo's place.. dum dum dum... *snickers can be heard from Emi*  
Heero and Wufei walk up the road to a gate that says "enter at your own risk"  
Wu: I think not...  
Heero: *pulls Wu along* Script.  
  
Music starts.  
  
Wu: Please no... I don't want to sing.. please don't make me sing.  
Minna minus Wu: Sing it bitch!!  
Wu: In the velvet darkness, Of the blackest night, Burning bright...  
Zechs is sitting up in the tower.  
Zechs: WHAT's UP YOUR ASS!?!?!  
Wu: *he's twiching uncontrollably* there's a guiding star. No matter what, Even duo, or who you are.  
Hee&Wu: There's a light...  
There was supposed to be a chorus here... but their all inside getting wasted...  
Hee&Wu: There's a light..  
Inside....  
Howard: Where'd you stash the pot??  
Everyone: Burning in the fireplace!!  
And Howard goes psycho over the fireplace when he actually has no pot and there isn't any in the fireplace... he's just wasted...  
Outside..  
Hee&Wu:There's a light~ light~~~ in the darkness... of everybody's life.  
Back up to Zechs.  
Zechs:The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming... Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming.  
Relena: *screaming* AHHHH!!!! My BROTHER Is going down on DUO!!! in the middle of the SHOW!!!  
Wu: INJUSTICE!!!  
Heero: *snickers*  
Zechs: Into my life.... Into my life...  
Hee&Wu: There's a light...  
Still no chorus...  
Hee&Wu:  
Get used to it.  
Hee&Wu: in the darkness... of everybody's life.  
  
..  



End file.
